What Finally Freed Me From Comparison
No. 79 - The surprising way shared struggles bring us together
I’ve struggled with comparison my whole life. Not just comparison, but the feeling like I needed to prove myself to my peers. It was especially bad after high school.
When I left high school, I was determined to make it big in the sports world. I wanted to make a name for myself and prove that I was better than everyone else.
I spent years chasing this dream, only to end up burnt out, exhausted, and lonely.
So, I made a career move. One that focused less on proving I was someone, and more on creating a life I loved. The desire to prove myself didn’t disappear, but my priorities began to shift. I met my now-husband, moved cities, and had two beautiful boys.
I started to realize that the people I was trying so hard to prove something to weren’t even thinking about me. They were busy living their own lives, managing their own challenges and struggles—just like we all do.
This past week, I caught up with a girlfriend from college. We hadn’t seen each other in years. Our lives have taken very different paths, but despite that, we’re both in the same season now—navigating the same challenges: childcare, full-time jobs, shuttling kids to sports practice, and wondering how to set our kids up for success in the future.
It made me realize that motherhood is a sort of great equalizer.
No matter what your life looks like—whether you live in a big city or a small town, whether you have a million Instagram followers or live completely off the grid, whether you “made it big in the sports world” or are working a steady 9–5—motherhood brings us face to face with the same struggles.
Stressing about potty training. Wondering if we’ve chosen the right school. Questioning if we’re spending enough time with our kids. Worrying about breastfeeding versus formula feeding. Juggling childcare and careers. Setting alarms to make sure we snag summer camp spots before they fill up. It’s a lot—and no matter what your life looks like, none of us are exempt from it.
In my younger years, I was consumed with being someone. I wanted to prove to so many people—the classmates I went to high school with, the sorority sister who married my ex-boyfriend, the colleagues who doubted me—that I was better than them. It’s taken me years to realize none of that matters.
From the outside, our lives might look vastly different. But motherhood has shown me that at the core, we’re all the same—dealing with the same struggles, the same concerns, the same stressors. And that realization is so freeing.
I’m continuously grateful for the person motherhood has made me. Someone wiser, more confident in myself, and mush less concerned with proving myself to anyone.
These days, I find more comfort in the friends walking this same road beside me than in any milestone I used to chase, because the challenges of motherhood—the shared struggles, late-night texts, and knowing nods across the soccer field—bind us together in ways that feel both grounding and freeing.
🎧 I might be late to the game on these guys, but my husband introduced me to them last weekend and their music’s been the soundtrack to my week.
🎲 My brother in law introduced our family to this new game and we’ve been sharing our scores every morning! It’s fun (and pretty challenging) let me know if you end up giving it a try!
👖 I’m obsessed with these pants. They’re structured enough to look good in an office setting, but comfortable enough to wear for travel. They have no zippers of uncomfortable buttons, and they don’t wrinkle!
Happy Friday, Friends! I hope you all have a great weekend!
