How to Prioritize Date Nights When you have Young Children
Vol. 1, No. 24
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You’re reading Modern Motherhood Musings, a weekly newsletter written from one mom to another. Each week I share an honest reflection on motherhood, and a collection of things bringing me joy. I’m passionate about community, and I hope that by sharing our stories, we all feel a little less alone. Disclosure: Some links in this newsletter are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!
📝 This week’s musing…
One of the areas in life that takes the biggest hit once kids arrive is inevitably your marriage.
Before becoming parents, my husband and I were constantly out. We love to travel and try new restaurants just as much as we love sporting events and live music, so bringing kids into our relationship totally changed the dynamic.
Those early years with kids are a whirlwind. It feels like you’ve been assigned a new job at work, in a department where you have zero experience. You and your spouse are both navigating this new world, while simultaneously growing into new people.
You're exhausted, over-stimulated, overwhelmed, and stretched thin. Not to mention, you have less free time, less disposable income, and less flexibility to do spur-of-the-moment things. At the end of the day, all you want to do is crash in front of the TV and mindlessly scroll your phone.
Making time for your marriage and continuing to date your spouse takes effort and planning, especially when the kids are young. Both my boys have gone through seasons of clinginess, and nothing ruins a date night like the guilt you feel when your child is screaming their head off as they watch you walk out the door.
While it still takes work and planning, below are some things that have helped making time for each other easier.
Keep a shared note of places you want to go - We keep a shared note on our phone where we constantly add new restaurants to try. The next time we have a chance to go out, we have an exciting list to choose from. It makes date night decisions so much easier and always gives us something to look forward to!
Use the Bambino app to find sitters - Finding childcare is one of the hardest parts about being able to go out as a couple, but the Bambino app has made it easier to find and book babysitters. It syncs to your contacts so you’re able to see which of your friends have used that sitter, and you can also filter for preferences like background checks or CPR certifications. Use this referral link for a $10 credit.
Host a sitter share - Invite a sitter to your house to watch your kids and the kids of another couple. While the parents enjoy a night out, the kids can have their own pizza party! Sharing a sitter reduces the cost and makes it more fun for the kids, minimizing any tears about you leaving. Plan an earlier date to avoid bedtime logistics and make the night smoother for everyone!
Swap babysitting with another couple - Trade off babysitting with another trusted couple! After the kids are down for the night, have one spouse watch your kids while you and your partner enjoy a night out. The next night, swap roles—you watch their kids so they can have a night out. It's a win-win for everyone!
Don’t just go on dates at night - Take advantage of having childcare and schedule a lunchtime date! We've had some of our most fun outings over spontaneous Friday lunches. It's a great way to enjoy time together without having to coordinate additional sitters or arrangements.
It's not always easy to prioritize each other when you have young kids. Taking time to reconnect and enjoy each other's company strengthens your relationship and sets a positive example for your children.
The effort and planning can sometimes feel overwhelming, but the payoff is so worth it. These moments of connection are what will keep you both strong, happy, and ready to tackle the challenges of parenthood together.
✨ Friday favorites…
🧅 A friend made this dairy free French Onion Dip for a dinner party this weekend and it was delicious. You can totally use the dairy version of the ingredients and it’ll be just as good.
💅🏼 Years of shellac and gel on my nails have left them brittle and weak, so I’m giving them a break this summer and leaving them bare. I’m using this Nail Renewal System to help heal and strengthen them.
🐻 Brandon and I are late to the game but we started watching The Bear this weekend and we’re obsessed! I’ve never loved a show so much that gave me this much anxiety. The best part? Season 3 just launched!
👯♀️ From one mom, to another…
Your words of wisdom, best piece of advice, and favorite hacks can make a difference in another mom’s journey. What has helped you survive this season? Email me to be featured in an upcoming newsletter.
❝
Keep a bin near your kids dresser or closet. When they outgrow something, just toss it in the bin. Once it’s full, you can donate it or store it, but it’s easier to deal with when all the outgrown clothes are in one place.
Caroline S. - Louisville, KY
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Happy Friday, friends! I hope you all had a happy 4th of July!
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