If I Could Do the Baby Phase All Over Again…
No. 103 - Advice I’d Give a First-Time Mom
Last week I was lounging in a chair by the pool when a mom walked by—one kid flanked on each side and a baby hanging off her chest in a carrier.
“I wasn’t that adventurous during the baby phase,” I said to my sister-in-law.
And it got me thinking: how would I do that season of life differently if I had the chance to do it all over again?
Our oldest son was born during the pandemic, when the options for being adventurous and social as a family with a baby were basically nonexistent. He was also a NICU baby, so we were extra protective and careful during that season too.
We spent a lot of time at home as a family of three. I don’t think he saw the inside of a store until he was almost a year old. I still remember his first trip to Target vividly—it was a whole new world for him.
By the time our second son was born, the world was back to “normal,” and I had so much more confidence in my abilities as a mom.
There’s nothing I regret, per se. But there are things I’d tell myself to savor a little more, knowing now just how fast it all goes.
First and foremost, I’d be in less of a rush. Instead of moving through the motions just to get things done, I’d try to be more present inside this season.
Enjoy that tub time with the little squishy baby in his whale bath, giggling and cooing while you pour water over his belly.
Linger a little longer during those middle-of-the-night feeds, when the house is quiet and the world feels paused, and there’s nothing in that moment but you and a sleepy baby staring up at you through half-closed eyes.
Go on more walks. I haven’t pushed our stroller in over a year now, but I miss those slow loops around the neighborhood, watching wide baby eyes take in the world like it was magic.
And then there are the less sentimental—but still life-changing—things:
Don’t buy baby clothes with buttons, snaps, or ties. Zippers are the only way to go.
Don’t stress about heating up a bottle that will inevitably get too hot and need to cool down while a hungry baby cries in the background. Room-temperature milk works just fine.
Babies can sleep through a lot. Don’t be afraid to take them along for your day. They adapt more than we think.
And most of all, I’d savor every single contact nap—letting that little baby snooze on my chest for as long as he wanted, even if the to-do list was calling my name from the other room.
I know it’s easier said than done. Especially when you’re sleep-deprived, healing, overstimulated, and figuring it all out in real time. It’s easy to romanticize a season once you’ve survived it.
But still.
Do y’all ever do that too? Tell yourself you’d be such a different mom—or parent—if you got the chance to start all over again?
👒 We traveled to Mexico last week and I took my favorite packable hat. It’s folds completely flat without loosing its shape, and has a size adjuster inside, to fit any head. It’s currently on sale for $16.
📖 I finished reading The Last Mrs. Parrish last week and it was SO good. If you’re into thrillers that have plenty of suspense but aren’t too dark, this is for you.
🎒 My boys have these backpacks in size small, and they’re the perfect size for them to carry through an airport without complaining. They can fit their lovies, snacks, and water bottles, and I have them monogrammed so no one is confused about whose bag is whose.
Happy Friday, Friends! I hope you all have a great weekend!
From The Modern Motherhood Musings Archive:
Oh man, this is a blast to the past. I wouldn't necessarily do anything different but I wish I'd had a different mindset. I couldn't see that the hard parts were just a phase and I felt like my entire life was hard, stressful, and exhausting. It got easier as the kids got bigger and I wish I knew on my hardest days that it wasn't going to be forever.
I always tell myself I'd be different if I did it all over again. But the truth is, I aways did the best I could with the tools I had in this motherhood journey! Adding that book to my must-read list!