The Cost Of Motherhood

No. 66 - What I’ve lost—and the quiet, beautiful things I’ve gained in return

I’m a bath person. I love to soak in the tub at the end of the day with some bath salts and a good book. That’s my ideal way to unwind.

The problem is, the only bathtub in our house is in the bathroom my boys use. Most days, before I can get in, I have to fish out an assortment of rubber toys and make sure all the dirt has been properly rinsed away.

I sigh and complain the whole time, and remind my husband that one day I’ll have a luxurious bathtub of my own. But the thing is—although I’ve lost so many things because of motherhood (like my own relaxing bathtub)—I’ve gained so much more.

I’ve lost the ability to sleep in, lazily sipping coffee in bed. But I’ve gained the sound of little feet pitter-pattering across the floor each morning, and the sweetest five minutes of two-year-old snuggles before we start the day.

I’ve lost the freedom to plan my weekends however I please. But I’ve gained the pride of watching my boys learn new skills at Saturday morning swim lessons or soccer practice.

I’ve lost the luxury of sitting down for an uninterrupted meal—there’s always someone needing more milk, another napkin, or a trip to the potty. But I’ve gained the best dinner companions, full of deep and curious questions like, “How did Jesus get to heaven?” or “Where is the sun’s home?”

I’ve lost the ability to gossip freely with my husband or yell a curse word at the driver who cut me off—because of the little ears that are always listening, and the little mouths that repeat everything. But I’ve gained the perspective of a child: the reminder that everyone is human and deserves kindness.

As my need for forgiveness has grown—after losing my temper or not being as gracious as I should—so has my ability to forgive others.

As my patience has been tested, I’ve found more of it.

As my modesty has gone completely out the window (hello, childbirth!), I’ve grown more comfortable in my own skin.

And as I’ve started to see myself the way my kids see me, my self-love has grown tenfold.

For all the things I’ve lost as a mother, I’ve gained infinitely more.

This Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of how much my life has changed—and how grateful I am for all the extra, heart-bursting love and joy my children have brought into it. I truly can’t imagine it any other way.

What have you lost—but also gained—because of motherhood?

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We had friends over for dinner last weekend, and my friend Jessica brought dessert. When I tell you that this chocolate cake was the best chocolate cake I’ve ever eaten, I’m not lying. It’s moist, and not too sweet, and just perfect!

I just finished listening to this audiobook and it was beautiful. Kristen, the author is warm, and so empathetic and I was moved multiple times throughout the book as she teared up recounting important moments from her life.

My same friend Jessica who baked the best chocolate cake, also convinced me to try this clothing rental service! A bag of brightly colored spring items landed on my doorstep this week, and the best part is that I get to wear them, not worry about washing them, and send them back to get a whole new selection of clothes! My only regret is that I waited this long to sign up.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s, grandma’s, aunts, and bonus moms out there. Please know how special and valued you are, and I hope you spend some time this weekend doing something for yourself!

The best Mother’s Day gift for me, would be if you’d use the link below to send this to one friend!

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