Learning to Live in the “Now”
No. 83 - Why it’s time to stop measuring life by what’s next—and start teaching our kids to embrace what’s here.
From the moment we’re born, we’re trained to focus on the next milestone.
We spend our childhood moving from kindergarten graduation to elementary school, to middle school, to high school. And you can’t even enjoy those years without someone asking where you’re going to college, what you want to study, or what you want to be when you grow up.
Then you get to college and, before you can even decide which classes to take or which sorority to join, people start telling you that you need internships, work experience, and networking. Because if you don’t start early, you won’t land a job when that next milestone arrives—college graduation and “entering the real world.”
It doesn’t stop there. With each new person you date, people start asking when you’re going to settle down. You’re barely figuring out who you are as an adult before others wonder why you’re not engaged. Then comes the proposal, and suddenly all focus shifts to the wedding. After the wedding, you buy a house, and before the boxes are even unpacked, the world wants to know when the babies will arrive. And then the kids come.
And then what?
We spend our whole lives looking ahead to the next step, the next achievement, the next box to check. And then—almost without warning—it feels like there aren’t many milestones left. Or at least, not ones that belong to us.
Maybe that’s why parents get so wrapped up in their children’s lives. Their milestones become our milestones. We cheer for every first step, every first day of school, every goal scored. Their progress becomes the marker of our own lives moving forward.
But what happens when things feel stagnant? When the big life events slow down?
I’ll admit—I struggle with this. If I go too long without a change, I start to feel restless. When’s the next job promotion? When will we move to a bigger house? What’s next? What’s next? What’s next?
There’s nothing wrong with ambition. Goals matter. Growth matters. But I wonder how much we’ve lost by always chasing what’s ahead instead of noticing what’s right here.
What if we gave ourselves permission to stop asking, “What’s next?” and started asking, “What’s now?” Because now is the home-cooked dinners around the table on an ordinary Tuesday. Now is bike rides in the cul-de-sac before the sun dips below the trees. Now is weekends spent at the soccer fields and quiet moments over dinner dates trying new restaurants.
As a society, maybe it’s time we stopped measuring our worth only in milestones. Instead, we can start valuing presence, joy, and the little rhythms that give life its meaning. And maybe the best thing we can do for our kids is to show them this—to help them see that life isn’t just a checklist of what’s next, but a series of moments worth living fully right now.
💄 If you’re looking to update your makeup with the start of fall, I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s a tinted moisturizer that offers plenty of coverage, and also has SPF. I get compliments every time I wear it.
🍪 Our whole house can’t stop eating these cookies (especially dipped in milk)! I really hope they aren’t a “limited edition” item and they keep these around.
⚾️ My oldest son is loving this book, and we’ve all learned so much! They make it for multiple sports, and I think it would be a fun birthday gift.
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