Beyond the Diapers and Dishes

No. 67 - On motherhood, identity, and the beauty of being complex

Trying my hand at acrylic art for the first time.

When I first started writing regularly, everyone said the same thing: pick a niche. You can only focus on one thing if you want to grow an audience.

So I chose motherhood. At the time, it made sense. I was knee-deep in diapers and goldfish crumbs, and it felt natural to write about what I was living.

But the further I get from those early years, the more I see how complex we all are. Our identity can’t be tied up in just one thing—not even something as big as motherhood.

I love being a mom, truly. But I also love reading for hours, cooking something new, and talking to people who challenge how I see the world. I love traveling, trying unfamiliar food, walking through new cities, and wandering the aisles of a beauty store just because. I love building community and turning strangers into friends.

None of that disappeared when I became a mom. It just got a little buried.

The early years of parenting can make you feel like your whole identity is on pause. Your time is no longer your own. You barely get five minutes to shower, much less a full afternoon to yourself. A hobby feels like a luxury.

But slowly, it shifts.

Your kids grow. You get a little space back. You remember what it feels like to be you again. Not just someone’s mom, but the full version of yourself.

This week, I hired a babysitter. Not to run errands or check off a to-do list, but to spend time doing things that make me feel whole. I browsed the local beauty shop without anyone tugging my sleeve. I wrote in a coffee shop with a warm latte and no interruptions. I went to a yoga class for the first time in months.

I could have felt guilty for stepping away, but I didn’t. Because when I take care of me, I show up better for them. Happier, calmer, more present. That’s the kind of mom I want to be.

We’re allowed to be more than moms. We don’t have to live only in the cycle of laundry, dishes, and school drop-off lines.

Motherhood is one of the most important titles I carry, but it is not the only one.

Taking time for yourself takes effort. It can feel hard to justify, or even logistically impossible. But when you can make it happen, it’s worth it.

So here’s your gentle nudge. What lights you up? What brings you joy and makes you feel like a younger, freer version of yourself?

Do more of that.

This week, I challenge you to do one thing just for you. Something small. Something fun. Something that reminds you of who you are outside of what you do for others.

And if you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear what you did.

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I’ve talked about this brand before, but I’m loving this coconut matcha latte. It has the perfect amount of caffeine for a nice afternoon pick-me-up without keeping me awake all night.

We just finished The Four Seasons and I absolutely loved it. Anything with Tina Fey and Steve Carell is bound to be good, but this was especially great because it’s centered around four middle-aged couples going through real-life problems.

Want a salad that tastes like a sub sandwich? Yes please! This Italian Grinder Salad is bright, packed with flavor, and would be perfect for an outdoor summer picnic dinner.

Happy Friday, Friends! I hope you all have a great weekend! Do something that brings you joy!

And, if you enjoyed this week’s musing, use the button below to send it to a friend!

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