How To Make Friends in a New City or a New Season of Life
Vol. 1, No. 20
You’re reading Modern Motherhood Musings, a weekly newsletter written from one mom to another. Each week I share an honest reflection on motherhood, and a collection of things bringing me joy. I’m passionate about community, and I hope that by sharing our stories, we all feel a little less alone. Disclosure: Some links in this newsletter are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support!
📝 This week’s musing…
Making friends as an adult is hard. There are so many barriers to creating community, whether in a new city or a new season of life, and there’s definitely no how-to guide. We’ve all become a little more focused on our phones when we’re out and a little more socially awkward after the pandemic.
I was incredibly lonely when I first moved back to Houston in 2018. I remember sitting across the dinner table from my dad one night with tears streaming down my face, telling him that all I needed was two friends in this city to be happy—just two.
When I left for college, I didn’t think I’d ever be coming back. I lost contact with almost everyone I knew, and even though I had been gone for over a decade, I still carried a lot of emotional baggage from growing up, as I’m sure many of you can relate. I had to learn to live in this city as an adult and create social circles that fit this new season of life.
Six years later, I’m happy to share that I’ve made more than two friends. But, getting here wasn’t easy. It’s been a journey of trial and error.
I went on Bumble BFF dates, which were oddly more nerve-wracking than when I went on romantic Bumble dates. I showed up to the neighborhood book club, tried various local church groups, and even became part of a multi-level marketing company, just to meet local consultants. Most of these endeavors were a bust, but Brandon encouraged me to keep trying, and to keep showing up.
Eventually, I stumbled upon a local Bible study hosted at someone’s house and decided to try it. These women welcomed me and gave me that first sense of belonging that I desperately needed. I’m forever thankful for those Monday nights and for that group.
This experience gave me the confidence I needed to be open to other opportunities. Like a snowball effect, the rest of the pieces started fitting into place. All it took was finding that one thing.
My biggest suggestion for anyone in this stage of life is to push fear aside and leave yourself open to opportunities for connection; you never know where a new friend will come from. Thanks to social media, I’ve reconnected with friends I haven’t talked to in almost 20 years; many of them have been this newsletter's biggest cheerleaders and supporters! My sister-in-law has also been a huge ally in this effort, inviting me to join her friend group to countless dinners and outings and making me feel included when I felt so alone.
Don’t be afraid to strike up a random conversation—at the park, at the gym, with the lady you see walking down your sidewalk or the mom waiting in the pickup line at daycare. At worst, it’ll lead to an awkward moment you can laugh about later (I’ve had plenty), but at best, you make a new connection. You’re putting yourself out there, being brave, and that’s a win in and of itself.
We all go through seasons of life when we need to do the hard work of making new friends, and I’ve been fortunate to have some incredible firsthand examples of this, starting with my mom and grandma.
My grandma moved into a senior living community not too long ago, and I’ve been so inspired by her outgoing attitude. She’s hosted get-togethers with everyone on her floor and even started a singing group. I’ve watched my mom step out of her comfort zone repeatedly over the past few years - she’s participated in Zumba classes, Bible studies, golf tournaments, and supper club, all for the sake of finding friends and building community. They have been inspiring to watch and remind me that it’s never too late to make new friends.
Friendship brings so much richness and joy to our lives. With each new person we meet, we gain a different perspective and see the world a little differently. I hope we never forget the value of connecting and of bringing people into our homes and into our lives.
If you’re in a season where you need to make new friends for whatever reason—maybe you’ve moved, maybe your friends are in different stages of life, maybe you just want to widen your social circle—don’t give up hope. All it takes is that one connection, that one friendship, to give you a sense of belonging. May we continue to make new friends throughout each new season of our lives.
This is a group of women in my neighborhood who have all bonded over being in the same season of life, motherhood.
✨ Friday favorites…
💊 We can’t seem to escape the daycare germs these days, so I’m loving these extra long syringes to help reach the very bottom of the medicine bottles.
🧀 If you’ve never tried Halloumi, you need to do so ASAP. It’s a delicious cheese that is hardy enough to be grilled or pan fried without melting. Try these halloumi tacos or this seared halloumi cheese and nectarine salad.
👜 How cute is this Mud Pie Cooler Bag? It's the perfect tote for keeping your kids' snacks and drinks cool. It features a top zipper closure and is made from an easy-to-clean material.
👯♀️ From one mom, to another…
Your words of wisdom, best piece of advice, and favorite hacks can make a difference in another mom’s journey. What has helped you survive this season? Email me to be featured in an upcoming newsletter.
❝
“No” is a complete sentence.
Margaret C. - Charlotte, NC
I hope you’re all having a great start to summer and soaking up special moments with those you love. Happy Friday, friends!
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