The Weight We Carry
No. 99 - On raising children in a country that keeps asking mothers to be both the shield and the light.
I sat down to write this week’s newsletter with nothing to say.
On Tuesday, ICE abducted a five‑year‑old boy from his home1 and drove him 1,300 miles away. A preschooler is sleeping in a detention facility built for dangerous criminals, alone and without parents.
A few hours ago, I tucked my own five‑year‑old son into his warm bed as I fought back tears. My son is here, while that little boy is there, because of nothing but circumstances.
This is what motherhood looks like in America right now.
It looks like touring the local kindergarten and hearing that free school lunch is available this year, but next year is uncertain because of cuts from the Department of Education.
It looks like paying off a grocery credit card bill that’s doubled since this time last year, even though the cart holds the same food.
It looks like turning off the TV anytime the president appears, because you don’t know if he’s going to flip someone off, use slurs, or model the exact behavior we’re working so hard to teach our children is unkind and unwelcome in our home.
It looks like worrying about measles and other diseases that were nearly eradicated, because science has been pushed aside by those in power.
And it looks like realizing that apathy is no longer an option. You can’t “not do politics” when the future you want for your children is slipping away in real time.
What breaks my heart most is the silence, especially from people I love who claim to follow Jesus yet say nothing.
People more outraged by protesters entering a house of worship than by ICE abducting individuals inside that same house of worship.
And somehow, even in the heartbreak, it’s the mothers who keep me believing in something better.
Last night, I met a City Council member my age, with a son the same age as mine. She was shaken by the statistics on gun deaths among children, so she acted. Her office now provides free gun safes and locks to anyone in the city.
That is a mother doing something about it.
And she’s not alone.
A friend of mine in North Carolina is supporting her husband as he runs for County Commissioner. She gives him the credit, but she deserves it too. Her refusal to stay silent about current injustices, and her unwavering support, is what pushed him to run in the first place.
These women, these mothers, are the ones keeping me afloat. We’re moved to action by every injustice. Every five‑year‑old ripped from his family. Every child who can’t focus at school because he’s hungry. Every woman harmed by inhumane pregnancy laws written by men who will never be in our shoes. Every mom who kissed her child goodbye in the morning and never saw them again because of another school shooting.
So tonight, I couldn’t write about meal planning or the mental load or any of the usual musings. Not when there’s a mother out there who didn’t get to tuck her five‑year‑old into bed because of an administration that has lost its humanity.
In a time when the news feels like it could drown me, I look around and see women, mothers, choosing action, choosing community, choosing each other. That’s what keeps me from going under.
“What ‘radicalized’ you?” they’d ask.
“Motherhood,” I’d say.
🎭 I love Marcello Hernandez on SNL, so when I saw he had a new Netflix special I knew I had to watch it, and it did not disappoint. I laughed so hard at his stories from his childhood, from family gatherings to his mom and sister’s beauty routines. It was hilarious.
🥗 I made this Vietnamese Chicken Noodle Chop this week and it was delicious, and made great leftovers the next day. Also, if you don’t already have one in your kitchen, a big huge wooden salad bowl is one of my most used pieces. I love this one from Crate and Barrel or this inexpensive one from Ikea.
📖 If you enjoy historical fiction, I just finished and loved this book. It’s set in 1930’s England, and features Agatha Christie and her friends trying to solve a real life murder.
Welcome to new subscribers - Claire S., Joe B., Kim J., and Lara A., I’m so glad to have you here!
Happy Friday, Friends! I know most of the country is supposed to get hit with winter weather this weekend, so I hope you all stay warm and safe.
From The Modern Motherhood Musings Archive:
Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/immigration/2026/01/22/minnesota-ice-columbia-heights-school/
Thanks for the shout-out, friend 💕 it’s also reading about ICE killing another citizen in MN while prepping food and readying the house for a potentially historic ice storm coming through tonight and tomorrow. 😔
Well said, Bri.