The Ways Siblings Keep Us Grounded as We Grow Up

No. 90 - A reflection on family ties and the comfort they still bring in adulthood.

Earlier this week, while I was mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, I stumbled on a ridiculous video that cracked me up. The kind you laugh at even though you know it’s so dumb. And my first reaction was, “I have to send this to my brother.”

By the time it looped again, I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. It was silly, but in those few seconds I felt like the little sister again, laughing with the one person who has always understood my humor.

I come from a blended family, and the first time I met my oldest brother, I was a high schooler and he was away at college. This automatically cemented him as the coolest person in my world.

When he moved home for a bit after graduation, I followed him around like a lost puppy. His favorite show was The Office, so naturally it became my favorite show too. I made him come eat lunch with me at school, and I dragged him to my end of the year awards, thrilled to have a big brother to show off.

Over the years, I’ve watched him become a really great dad to his kids, and an incredible uncle to my boys, and I’m still thankful for the strong bond we share.

He’s the person I text when I discover a new recipe or a great podcast, and when I traveled to Austin for work a few weeks ago, I felt a sense of pride being able to share a bunch of recommendations from my “big brother”. It reminded me that even in adulthood, sibling dynamics don’t ever dissapear.

It’s a bittersweet part of life. You grow up as part of a family unit, a household with its own rhythms and traditions, one that you and your siblings are all a part of. And then, you move out, build a life, and create your own entirely new family unit.

You’re still the same person, but also an entirely new one. Your siblings are still your siblings, but now they have their own families too. You’ve each started to live your own life experiences, without each other.

And without meaning to, you drift. Not out of distance or lack of love, but because life becomes full. Kids activities, work deadlines, social commitments, the list goes on.

You see each other for holidays, for birthdays, for the big stuff. But the days of being “the kids” together are gone. You’re the responsible ones now.

He’s gone from being “my big brother Derek” to “Uncle Derek”

I’m thankful for moments like this past week. Laughter that took me right back to being the little sister, long before mom or wife or colleague became part of who I am today.

We grow and change and build families of our own, but the connection we have with our siblings stays rooted in something deep and familiar. It shifts with time, but it doesn’t disappear. It simply settles into the background until something small brings it forward again, reminding us that we never really lose that part of ourselves.

🥗 The best thing I did for myself this week was upgrade my subscription to What To Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking so I could cook from her meal plan this week. It made my weekly grocery shopping a breeze, and I cooked lunch and dinner all week that the family loved.

💄 I’m obsessed with this e.l.f. lip balm. I have the color “wild cherry” and it leaves the most perfect pink stain. I’ve been wearing it to look “put together” on my zoom calls all week.

👖 I wore these corduroy pants for our family pictures and they’re great. They’d be perfect dressed down with a chambray shirt, or dressed up with a blouse and some great jewelry for a holiday gathering.

Welcome to new subscribers - Monika C., Samantha R., Amy F., Erica Z., Sam B., and Dina J., So glad you’re here.

Happy Friday, Friends! I hope you all have a great weekend!

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