Thank you Bri for writing this—it captures something many mothers / dads feel but struggle to articulate. The way you describe realizing that “yourself” isn’t the same person you were before kids deeply resonated with me. That tension between longing for familiarity and slowly discovering a new sense of purpose feels so real. What struck me most is how your clarity didn’t come from reclaiming old pieces of life, but from choosing new forms of engagement—community, advocacy, leadership—that matched who you’d become. One thought your piece sparked for me is how rarely we name this transition as a kind of identity grief: not because the past self was better, but because letting go still requires mourning. I wonder how different parenthood might feel if we normalized not just “finding ourselves again,” but also honoring the selves we’ve outgrown.
“That’s the beauty of it all: we don’t return to who we once were—we grow and evolve into someone new.”
Wow, you are so right. There is a grief component to it. I’m really hopeful that we as parents are starting to talk more openly about all of the complex emotions and feelings that come with parenthood, both good and bad, and allowing ourselves to be open and honest about it all.
I have 5 kids throughout 9 years, and have went through seasons of feeling like myself, and seasons where I have not. My last baby was born 18 months ago, and while I've returned back to "myself"... that person is far different than who I was before. Writing is one of the things that has made me realize this. Good luck on your journey in finding who the "new you" is. It will be great!
Hi Michelle, thanks for the comment. Wow, 5 kids in 9 years, I can only imagine all the ways you've changed through each new pregnancy and child. Not only yourself, but your family dynamic shifts and evolves each time too. I hope this new version of yourself that you're discovering through your writing is one that you appreciate and love! Good luck to you too, it'll be great!
I think I found myself again when I started prioritizing my happiness, hobbies and time. Of course I need to care for my fam -- but there HAS TO BE intentional space carved out for myself outside of being "Mom."
How old is your youngest baby? I agree that it was a slow process too :) lots of discovering what “me” actually feels like now as a mother among everything else
Thank you for beautifully putting into words what’s so many of us feel as mothers. I have to say that as someone who was one of the last in my friendship group to have children, I don’t know how anyone does it without their closest friends paving the way before them. I can imagine it would add an element of isolation on top of the indentity shift that comes along with motherhood.
Totally! Finding a community of mom friends has made such a difference in how I feel in motherhood. It helps to be able to talk about all we’re going through and feeling!
Thank you Bri for writing this—it captures something many mothers / dads feel but struggle to articulate. The way you describe realizing that “yourself” isn’t the same person you were before kids deeply resonated with me. That tension between longing for familiarity and slowly discovering a new sense of purpose feels so real. What struck me most is how your clarity didn’t come from reclaiming old pieces of life, but from choosing new forms of engagement—community, advocacy, leadership—that matched who you’d become. One thought your piece sparked for me is how rarely we name this transition as a kind of identity grief: not because the past self was better, but because letting go still requires mourning. I wonder how different parenthood might feel if we normalized not just “finding ourselves again,” but also honoring the selves we’ve outgrown.
“That’s the beauty of it all: we don’t return to who we once were—we grow and evolve into someone new.”
Wow, you are so right. There is a grief component to it. I’m really hopeful that we as parents are starting to talk more openly about all of the complex emotions and feelings that come with parenthood, both good and bad, and allowing ourselves to be open and honest about it all.
I have 5 kids throughout 9 years, and have went through seasons of feeling like myself, and seasons where I have not. My last baby was born 18 months ago, and while I've returned back to "myself"... that person is far different than who I was before. Writing is one of the things that has made me realize this. Good luck on your journey in finding who the "new you" is. It will be great!
Hi Michelle, thanks for the comment. Wow, 5 kids in 9 years, I can only imagine all the ways you've changed through each new pregnancy and child. Not only yourself, but your family dynamic shifts and evolves each time too. I hope this new version of yourself that you're discovering through your writing is one that you appreciate and love! Good luck to you too, it'll be great!
I think I found myself again when I started prioritizing my happiness, hobbies and time. Of course I need to care for my fam -- but there HAS TO BE intentional space carved out for myself outside of being "Mom."
Loved this one, Bri! <3
Yes! I think the kids getting a bit older helped me be able to prioritize more time for myself. It's so hard when they're still so young.
I'm still waiting to feel completely like myself, but I feel like I've been slowly moving in that direction!
How old is your youngest baby? I agree that it was a slow process too :) lots of discovering what “me” actually feels like now as a mother among everything else
We have one daughter that is 2.5 years old.
That’s about how long it took me too!
Thank you for beautifully putting into words what’s so many of us feel as mothers. I have to say that as someone who was one of the last in my friendship group to have children, I don’t know how anyone does it without their closest friends paving the way before them. I can imagine it would add an element of isolation on top of the indentity shift that comes along with motherhood.
Totally! Finding a community of mom friends has made such a difference in how I feel in motherhood. It helps to be able to talk about all we’re going through and feeling!